How to find your authentic speaking voice: Avatars and the merging of selves (Part II.)
In our last post, we discussed navigating the path to your ideal self and using an avatar as a vessel for doing so (read it here). With that theoretical framework in place, we can now look at how you put it into practice.
1. Define Your Avatar
First, figure out who your avatar is – brainstorm your ideal self. Think about your alter ego in a professional context. Is your ideal self a CEO? Entrepreneur? Storyteller? Insta sensation? A-lister YouTuber? Who do you aspire to be?
How does that avatar speak (i.e., tone of voice, intonation patterns, expressions, language registers, vocabulary)? What are their public speaking strengths? What attributes allow them to speak confidently in front of an audience?
In the preliminary stage, try to be as specific as you can. You are painting the portrait of your ideal self. If you’re feeling artsy, make an inspiration board or collage. You can even draw – yes draw! – a picture of your ideal self.
2. Research Examples
Once you have defined your avatar, it’s time to research real-world examples. An inspirational TedTalk speaker perhaps? Or your favorite YouTuber or Insta Story star? Role models can be found on any platform you can think of – they don’t need to be presidents or CEOs!
If you can’t make up your mind at first, or don’t know which feels most authentic, try out a few different avatars and then choose the one that feels most natural. Remember, it’s fine to have more than one avatar because different contexts call for different avatars.
3. Assume Your Role
Now that you have your avatar, you need to rehearse your part. Choose a speech or something you can present as you would in front of an audience. This must be practiced out loud! Incorporate the gestures, intonation patterns, facial expressions and anything else that catches your eye.Refer to the notes you made about these details back in the preliminary stages of the exercise.
4. Do a Self-Check
Ask yourself a series of self-reflection questions. Is this style of speaking me or who I want to project? Is this an authentic expression of my ideal self? Or do I feel like a complete imposter, even after practicing? In other words, do you feel like a fake phony or a real phony? Remember Holly Golightly? You’re going for the latter here. In the beginning, you’re going to feel like a fraud, but once you start practicing and adding your authentic flare to the character, you appropriate the role and make it you. Take notes as you reflect.
5. Practice, Again!
If you practice it and do it long enough, you start to become it. The M.O “Fake it till you become it” (Cuddy et al., 2012) is the way to go here. You really must dive into the character and believe in it. If you don’t believe in it, no one else will.
6. Do It Live
You can do this in one of two ways: on camera or in front of a group. Or feel free to do both! If you go with the camera, record yourself and show it to your close friends or family. The camera allows you to see yourself and become your own critic. A live audience forces you to read the audience and experience the nervous energy of public speaking. When it comes to your audience, select people who will give you honest-to-goodness feedback. Yes, we all love the “f” word (no not that one, silly) – effective feedback can significantly accelerate your progress. This is why working with a trained communications coach can be a big time saver.
7. Refine Your Avatar
Incorporate the feedback you’ve received in addition to your own notes from the self-check. Practice with these new changes. It is very important to polish your character. Hopefully you will have received some constructive criticism that is actionable. If not, consider seeking out a coach who can provide it.
8. Repeat
Repeat steps 4 through 6. Truth: practice makes perfect. Remember, you are ultimately seeking to bring your actual self closer to your avatar.
9. Assess Your Authenticity
Do you still feel like a phony? Hopefully at this point the answer is no. Otherwise, you may have chosen an avatar that misaligned with your objectives or context. If that’s the case, go back to the drawing board and choose a new avatar. It might help to consult with someone who can help you decide.
10. The Merging is Complete
If you feel authentic, then you’ve merged your actual self with your avatar. Congrats! Pat your avatar (yourself?) on the back! You’re now ready to face any public speaking challenge with the grace, courage, and tenacity of your ideal self.
Closing Thoughts: Be Patient
The time it will take to assume your avatar identity will vary from person to person. Just know that the more you practice, the more authentic it will feel! Also, as time passes, you may find that the definition of your ideal self may evolve. That’s a great sign that you are growing. Continue to adapt your avatar to your objectives and context. Just let that sense of authenticity be your guide.
If you would like to learn how you can use your avatar to tap into your leadership, check out this video.
Sources:
Cuddy, Amy J.C., Caroline A. Wilmuth, and Dana R. Carney. "The Benefit of Power Posing Before a High-Stakes Social Evaluation." Harvard Business School Working Paper, No. 13-027, September 2012.
Kostakopoulos, M. D. (2011, December). Humanising Language Teaching Magazine for teachers and teacher trainers. Retrieved from http://old.hltmag.co.uk/dec11/index.htm
Kostakopoulos, M. D. (2013). The avatar effect: Young learners’ investment in L2 identities through dramatization of avatar activities (Master’s thesis). Bahçeşehir University, Istanbul.
Note: Here’s Cuddy’s 2012 TedTalk
Thank you for reading!!
